Title: Mr. Wayne and the Magical Bed Fandom: DCU (Comics Batverse) Summary: How Bruce Wayne maintains his reputation as a debonair millionaire playboy while remaining celibate. Rating: Adult Notes: 1 drabble, many 14 word stories. Presented in chronological order. Written for and Tim inspired by Jamjar. "Renwo ruoy htiw evol edam evah yeht eveileb uoy ni eil ohw esoht ekam deb!" The bed -- an heirloom -- glows blue for an instant. Bruce narrows his eyes, trying to find a structural change in the wood or mattress. None are apparent. "Hm." Zatanna puts her hands on her hips. "What, you doubt my spell?" "I would prefer an empirical test." Bruce smiles. "The bed is yours." Zatanna smiles back. "Then lie in my bed." He does. Her lips -- her hips -- her slick, demanding -- He sits up, panting. "The spell is -- most effective." "Thank you. The bed is yours, Bruce." ~^..^~ The debutantes tend to whimper and bury their faces in the pillow, feigning embarrassment. ~^..^~ "Oh god, oh -- Bruce!" Vicki Vale flops back on the bed, her blouse disheveled. ~^..^~ "Bat-- Bruce, I --" Selina covers her mouth with her hand and screams. "That's -- perfect --" ~^..^~ "You not Bruce!" Batzarro does not break the bed sufficiently to break the spell. ~^..^~ Lois looks for a story in the wrong place, but finds her clitoris unerringly. ~^..^~ "That wasn't --" Dick stands, panting. "He -- would never --" He frowns, then lies down again. ~^..^~ "Beloved." Talia bites her lip. "O, my beloved, my father will be so pleased." ~^..^~ "Batman -- Bruce, Jesus yes." Barbara tosses her bright hair and spreads her legs wider. ~^..^~ "Fuck this," Jason says, and trips Bruce, then kisses him hard. "Enough not talking." ~^..^~ "Magic does have its uses." Clark chuckles, then mends the springs with heat vision. ~^..^~ "My goodness," Bruce Wayne says, straightening his cuffs. "That Batman fellow certainly is vigorous." ~^..^~ "That was a most -- persistent -- delusion," Hugo Strange says, then takes out his notebook. ~^..^~ Vesper clings to the headboard, her knuckles white. "I -- Bruce, I know -- I -- you're --" ~^..^~ Renee yawns and leans against the heavy bed. "I don't see anything in here." Cris Allen echoes her yawn and sits down, then looks rather glazed. "Me -- neither." ~^..^~ Cass giggles every time she sees Batman for the next week straight. "Wasn't you." ~^..^~ Steph has never seen a house so big, or rooms -- or a bed -- or -- ~^..^~ "I finally figured out your bullshit." Red Hood tackles Bruce onto the bed, grinning. ~^..^~ Tim raises his eyebrow at Bruce, who's standing in the doorway, and lies down.
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