To:
RollerThunder.com
From: BumbleBeeb.com
Date: 02:36:16 02/03/20--
Subject: Those files
Dear Oracle,
If you decrypted this in less than five point eight minutes I'm going
to have to go out the back and shoot myself in the head and I'm sending
you the bill.
Hope this helps with the whatever you wanted it for. I'm guessing that
the insistence on no Chinese characters spells Yakuza or Triads. Am I
right? Can't blame a guy for being curious.
Let me know if you need a hand (hah!)
BB
PS) What's your real name?
PPS) Kidding! |
To:
BumbleBeeb.com
From: RollerThunder.com
Date: 03:17:52 02/03/20--
Subject: A beetle's work is never done
BB -
5.823, to be precise.
Or I could be lying about that. I value your help. In certain matters.
You're better off working on just the things I sent you with no further
information. If the involved parties don't know you know about this,
you're safer.
Divide and conquer.
I'm not going to pull an Orwell and tell you ignorance is safety, but
it's tempting.
I'm sending along more files I could use assistance with, incl.
blueprints. What's the ETA on them?
- O |
To:
RollerThunder.com
From: BumbleBeeb.com
Date: 20:17:25 02/04/20--
Subject: Omnicognizant one
Dear Oracle,
It's twenty years past 1984. Haven't you noticed the flying cars?
ETA is nowish. That is one nasty isotope. Handle with caution, he said
to the most cautious being in several worlds. I've attached some ideas
on appropriate safety equipment. Let me know if you want the protoypes
- they're just sitting here taking up space for other junk I'll never
use.
Oracle, n. A person or agency considered to be a source of wise counsel
or prophetic opinion; an infallible authority, usually spiritual in
nature.
Gotta trust an infallible authority.
BB
PS) Are you from this world?
PPS) Not kidding. Give me a scrap, here. It's not like one in five
billion would narrow it down. |
To:
BumbleBeeb.com
From: RollerThunder.com
Date: 22:13:41 02/04/20--
Subject: Impertinence
BB -
Your eyesight must be worse than my records show. The only 'flying car'
equivalents I am aware of are limited.
One was produced by Kord Tech's founder, but he hasn't marketed them
yet. Any hints why?
Because you're so efficient, I'm sending you another knotty problem.
Microchips are your thing, you can lend a hand. Mandible. Whatever.
My picture isn't in the dictionary.
- B |
To:
RollerThunder.com
From: BumbleBeeb.com
Date: 02:14:35 02/04/20--
Subject: More impertinence
Dear Oracle,
Do your records show that your secrecy leaves me heartbroken?
I've got the first two down, but this third one has me (temporarily)
defeated. I'll get her. Where the hell did you find her? That's
scientific curiosity.
If I was an oracle, I'd prophesy that Kord Tech's founder would have
problems convincing his marketing board that man was meant to fly.
BB
PS) a/s/l??
PPS) Oracle, n. derived from the Latin orare, to speak. Ironical.
PPPS) Got the bitch! Schematics attached. |
To:
BumbleBeeb.com
From: RollerThunder.com
Date: 04:29:24 02/04/20--
Subject: Defeated? You?
BB -
I've added notes on your overdramatic nature since this correspondence
began -- 384 messages ago now.
Nevertheless.
What was the issue with the third one? It was of nonterrestrial origin,
but that usually doesn't slow you down.
With respect to problems you've anthropomorphized -- gynemorphized,
perhaps, in this case -- or acquaintances.
Or significant others? Data is *slightly* lacking there, though
references to personal matters are quite full wrt your Justice League
International tenure.
KT's founder needs more framed posters in his conference room depicting
flight. I'll have them delivered via courier.
It would be *extremely* difficult to communicate in American Sign
Language in this medium.
Also, if you cannot draw conclusions from the data available to you,
you haven't yet earned the knowledge.
A Beetle's work is never done, I fear -- comsat data heading your way,
analyze for frequency of transmission patterns, check for deviance from
the assigned purpose of the satellite -- it may be suborned.
- B |
To:
RollerThunder.com
From: BumbleBeeb.com
Date: 13:51:23 02/04/20--
Subject: It happens temporarily
Dear B-
I spilled diet soda over a machine at an important moment, is what was
wrong with the third one.
So, those satelites. Got a riddle for you.
Q: When can you trust a Cheshire Cat?
A: Never, that's why she's smiling.
If you're sending anyone to Vietnam, I'm available for backup. You
might want a geek on the ground for this one.
KT's founder is very grateful for the posters, especially the Lady
Blackhawk one. That is one beautiful bird... that she's posing beside.
BB
PS) Prying into my private life? Sir, you are no gentleman.
PPS) And you, miss, are no lady. |
To:
BumbleBeeb.com
From: RollerThunder.com
Date: 03:26:23 02/05/20--
Subject: These things do happen
BB -
Diet soda. Explains a lot.
I don't actually know any beetle jokes, but I wouldn't be surprised if
you do.
I could use an operative in three days. I'll send the itinerary.
The matting colors for the posters were based on the last available
data with respect to the decor. I trust they still suit.
Lady B. is a lovely one, certainly.
Does it really count as prying if one knows?
I suspect that neither revelation of gender would diminish your
flirtation. You may disabuse me of this if you like.
- B |
To:
RollerThunder.com
From: BumbleBeeb.com
Date: 12:52:14 02/05/20--
Subject: Off to drop the bomb
Dear B-
I only love you for your mind.
Off to 'nam. If I should die say only this of me: he was a goddamn
moron for going.
BB. |
To:
BumbleBeeb.com
From: RollerThunder.com
Date: 23:25:49 02/05/20--
Subject: Good morning, Vietnam
BB -
It would be fairest to say I only use you for yours, but falsely cold.
Besides which, your physique (at least of late) is nothing to be
sneezed at.
Rendezvous with one of my operatives, 0930 local time tomorrow. She'll
find you.
- B |
To:
RollerThunder.com
From: BumbleBeeb.com
Date: 13:26:18 02/08/20--
Subject: Ow.
Dear B-
I would like to say ow.
Also ow, ow, ow, ow and ow.
But I think these are my favourite third degree burns of all time,
since they adorn what I now know is a fine physique. Good motivation to
stick to the diet soda.
Tell Canary thanks for the flowers. And tell her it's not her fault -
she might take it from you. Don't tell her they made me sneeze.
Do you know how boring recuperation is? Flat on my stomach for six
days! I tinkered with some plans for a subvocal comset. A little bird
told me it might be useful.
-BB
PS) Ow
PPS) Ow ow ow ow ow |
To:
BumbleBeeb.com
From: RollerThunder.com
Date: 21:32:52 02/08/20--
Subject: Rest for the wicked
BB -
My regrets have been conveyed to you, but they are still extant.
Would that I could kiss them and make them better.
Or you.
Subvocal comset. You do know how to make an entity feel wanted. Send me
the design?
It's good to know your lovely brain wasn't going to waste all that
time. I'd feel guilty.
Take a little vacation in Houston for me. You've got reservations if
you're willing to use them. Let me know either way.
- B |
To:
RollerThunder.com
From: BumbleBeeb.com
Date: 20:42:14 02/09/20--
Subject: Touchdown
Dear B-
Houston, we have a me. Yes. Unless this is in exchange for kisses. If
so, no.
Kisses from my favorite disembodied entity beats a vacation any day.
You've got my numbers.
Design attached. Could use some testing.
- Ted. |
To:
BumbleBeeb.com
From: RollerThunder.com
Date: 02:06:20 02/10/20--
Subject: Earning your keep
Ted -
Payment in kisses would be more than slightly difficult under the
circumstances. I know my operatives' capabilities, but that is most
definitely not one of them.
You're recuperating. So recoup.
While you're getting better, there are a few cameras that need to be
replaced. I'll send you the list. Careful with the NASA facility --
they're a mite touchy.
I've made some edits to the design. When you've got a prototype, I'll
give you apropos contact information.
Looking forward to it,
B |
To:
RollerThunder.com
From: BumbleBeeb.com
Date: 19:02:10 02/10/20--
Subject: All systems go
Dear B,
I'm fully recouped!
Was it wrong to stick an extra camera in the men's room? The flying car
jokes got on my nerves. Hope there's some incriminating evidence to
prove my pet(ty) theory there.
Hard at work on prototype.
Ted. |
To:
BumbleBeeb.com
From: RollerThunder.com
Date: 07:32:12 02/11/20--
Subject: Trouble in paradise
Ted -
The monitoring responsibility on that camera is all yours.
But they're not likely to find it.
I hate to distract you from your tinkering, but there's something
rotten in Tampa. Lend a hand? Huntress's last known location is
attached.
- B |
To:
RollerThunder.com
From: BumbleBeeb.com
Date: 23:31:23 02/13/20--
Subject: Almost there!
B,
How's she doing? That son of a bitch. If I'd been her I'd have broken
*both* his hands.
Bathroom Cam has some interesting footage from last Friday's launch
party. Sure you don't want to see it?
Prototype nearly done. Nearlynearlynearly.
Ted.
PS) Whoever said beetles thrived in humidity lied. I nearly drowned in
my own sweat.
PPS) Oops, that's not very romantic. |
To:
BumbleBeeb.com
From: RollerThunder.com
Date: 01:34:16 02/14/20--
Subject: Frigidity
Ted,
H is recovering as quickly as can be expected and thanks you for your
concern.
Her assailant is doing much worse, you'll be glad to know.
Are you trying to seduce me with lewd videos?
I assume you've decided I'm male? Or possibly you think I am merely
perverse.
Send it over.
ETA on the prototype?
Note to self: don't send BB anywhere southerly.
I'll save the Iceland missions for you.
- B |
To:
RollerThunder.com
From: BumbleBeeb.com
Date: 23:03:15 02/14/20--
Subject: whatever you need
B,
If that's what it takes to seduce you.
On the boy thing/girl thing i am undecided. you shift and shiver in my
head can't plot you out. no schematics. B be B
B be sharp and funny and cold and bright as in brilliant as in blinding.
what would I touch? planes or curves. That's just geometry. i am an
equal opportunity pervert.
what would it take to seduce you?
love Ted. |
To:
RollerThunder.com
From: BumbleBeeb.com
Date: 10:31:45 02/15/20--
Subject: My deepest apologies
B,
Christ, I'm sorry.
If it's any excuse (it's not), I was very, very drunk. An old friend
stopped by with some once-in-his-lifetime booze.
Also, if it's any excuse (it's not), even drunk, I never meant to send
that. The friend in question fancies himself wise in the ways of love.
Anyway, it was sent.
My sincerest apologies,
BB. |
To:
BumbleBeeb.com
From: RollerThunder.com
Date: 01:23:24 02/16/20--
Subject: Quick save in the Garden State
Ted -
If I may drag you away from KT one more time, Black Canary could
benefit from your quick wits in Trenton.
- Barbara |
To:
RollerThunder.com
From: BumbleBeeb.com
Date: 09:39:42 02/18/20--
Subject: Victory is mine!
Dear Barbara,
Thanks for Trenton - really. It's nice to have an unqualified success.
Are you as horrified as I am that Dinah still calls hard drive RAM?
I've tried to explain. I have *tried*. I know she's not a natural
blonde, so why why why?
Don't tell her I said that. She could break me with her pinky finger.
Prototype complete. I am despatching to pre-arranged location.
Given recent revelations, I'm hoping for certain intimations of
intimacy to be fulfilled. All hopes, no expectations.
Thanks again,
Ted.
PS) What'd you think of the video? |
To:
BumbleBeeb.com
From: RollerThunder.com
Date: 14:58:40 2/18/20--
Subject: No resting on laurels, now
Dear Ted,
You've had at least two unqualified successes lately. The transmission
on that prototype -- well, you remember.
I've begun to think of Dinah wrt computers as one of those things that
I cannot change, but must accept with serenity.
Check out the attached video. This was three weeks before Batman found
the camera -- he was furious -- but Superman convinced him to leave it
there.
Neither of the participants are aware of the camera yet.
Talk to you soonest,
Barbara |