Title: Most humble and obedient
Fandom: DCU
Sequel to: And never do prove true, by Te.
Summary: Superman and Robin exchange notes.
Content: Unobjectionable, highly laden with crack.
Notes: Betty said, "Those two should be pen pals for a while before they're allowed to interact in person." Te relayed this to me, and I leapt upon the concept.

Dear Clark,
Sorry about the seduction.

- T

PS do not come over, will be washing hair

Dear Tim,
Likewise, I'm sure.

- C

PS I don't hear your shower running.

Dear Clark,
You didn't start it.

- T

PS I have to organize my CD collection. Sorry. Busy.

Dear Tim,
For that matter, neither did you. But I accept your apology and hope you'll accept mine.

- C

PS Are you busy next Thursday?

Dear Clark,
I accept your apology. Perhaps we should apply to B. for one each as well.

- T

PS There will indubitably be some sort of alien invasion.

Dear Tim,
He was less than thrilled about the concept of any sort of blame being laid at his feet when I spoke to him last. Perhaps you have a different form of leverage with him?

- C

PS In the distant hope that there is not, would you be available?

Dear Clark,
While it is true that I have a different form of leverage with B., I would not venture to say that it is superior in strength or direction to yours.

It might be best to abandon the speculation if your request for discussion was rebuffed.

- T

PS Possibly.

Dear Tim,
It would hardly be the first time I renounced hope of a reasonable discussion with B.

Nor the first time you did, I venture to guess, based on my knowledge of both of you and extensive discussions with D.

- C

PS If you were to accompany me to dinner, I would be most gratified.

Dear Clark,
Reasonable discussions with B. are a challenge in and of themselves.

About your extensive communications with D. -- how extensive were they?

- T

PS It might be arranged. How formally would I need to dress?

Dear Tim,
Very true.

Interesting that you would need to apply to me for details; I had understood from D. and B. that your relations with the former were quite intimate. As were mine with him, several years ago; we have remained close.

- C

PS It would be ludicrous to ask you to dress in any form that might be disarranged by wind, but in a small restaurant in London, one can find the best curries on the planet.

Dear Clark,
D. is not always as forthcoming as one might assume with respect to his friendships, particularly those of a more informal and comfortable nature that might not be described precisely as "relationships."

Should I inquire of him instead?

- T

PS It seems improbable that the best curries might be found so far from their native land.

Dear Tim,
D. was, for a time, as near and dear to me as you have lately been, without the unfortunate circumstances in which we presently find ourselves.

You may certainly inquire of him if you desire corroboration, or if you doubt that his view on matters would match mine. I doubt that there is a disparity there, but I have never been infallible, whatever my strengths.

- C

PS If you require proof in the form of extensive testing, that could certainly be arranged, though due to the issues of water, cooking, and intestinal parasites, the full tour might be more dangerous to you than it was for me.

Dear Clark,
I had deduced as much, but it is pleasant to have confirmation.

I will not apply to him for 'corroboration,' as you put it; I doubt that he would be pleased to discuss the matter with me under the present circumstances.

Moreover, I would not care to explain to him how it came up.

- T

PS Perhaps an abbreviated form of the tour would be feasible, provided, of course, that the earth remains free from invasions &c.

Dear Tim,
I have a certain amount of faith in your deductive capabilities, and I am pleased as ever to be of assistance.

I rather doubt that D. would be terribly uncomfortable in the discussion you wish to avoid, but you have spent more time with him than I of late. Perhaps you are correct.

But provided you were willing to entertain the discussion, certainly it cannot long escape your friends' (and family's) notice that we are spending time together. You might easily be able to parlay the semblance of friendship, assuming that we may still claim that, into a discussion of past friendships of varying degrees of warmth.

-C

PS It would be my pleasure to take you on such a journey. Next weekend?

Dear Clark,
It astonishes me that you can still claim such faith after the recent trouble. I no longer possess it in the measure I once did.

If D. addresses me regarding our friendship, I cannot say that I will avoid the subject of intimacies, but I am still uncomfortable with broaching the subject myself. He would be most curious as to why you had confirmed my suspicions, apart from anything else.

- T

PS I have an ongoing engagement in SF each weekend, as you well know. Perhaps Monday after next, we could begin.

Dear Tim,
I was familiar with your record and methods before this unfortunate turn of events. I am certain that you are capable of maintaining a higher level than your misconceptions related to me would imply.

I find myself most curious to know how D. would characterize our past relationship at this point. Perhaps I shall inquire of him myself.

- C

PS I had not forgotten your responsibilities in SF, but they do not necessarily extend to evenings, correct? Should the necessity arise, you would be back there as quickly as possible. This Friday, perhaps?

Dear Clark,
You flatter me too highly.

Should you do that, I would be equally curious to know how he would phrase things.

- T

PS This Thursday, and, should things go well, next Monday. No sooner.

Dear Tim,
I do not believe that such a thing is possible under the present circumstances.

I fear I am not known for my skills as a raconteur. You would likely be best served by an application of your normal methods of information gathering.

- C

PS Should the world be destroyed before Thursday, I would be most grieved not only for the lives lost, but for the loss of the chance to spend time with you. Thursday it is.

Dear Clark,
You greatly overestimate me, in that case, or you continue to flatter. In either case, I hope that you do not engage in this sort of hyperbole in normal situations.

I was not suggesting that I would by any means desist from the standard forms of interaction and recording; to do so would be potentially dangerous. However, the style which one uses for paraphrasis is often revealing of character.

- T

PS I shall be nigh sleepless until we meet again. On Thursday.

Dear Tim,
The company I keep does not admit hyperbole; it is in itself superlative.

It reassures me, and consoles those parts of my being still stinging from the accusation of hyperbole, to know that you are abandoning nothing of your normal regimen due to my company. Indeed you are a most remarkable young man.

- C

PS In what way does this state of affairs deviate from your norm?

Dear Clark,
Though you are yourself superlative, it seems improbable that you might then extend that to your company. Certainly, B. and D., among others, qualify, but neither of them have made the same caliber of misstep that I lately did.

Granted, of course, that we have agreed to absolve B. of blame in this instance due to his refusal to accept same in any case.

If I were to abandon a particle of my daily routines and obligations due to consorting with you, I would not be in the slightest bit worthy of your continued regard.

I do wish to remain so. In the spirit of that, I must patrol.

- T

PS It is true that sleeplessness characterizes many of my nights. Perhaps it will also accompany me tomorrow, when you do likewise.

Dear Tim,
Until tomorrow.

- C


Email the author
DCU Story Index